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Show transcript (autogenerated by Apple Podcasts) Pickaxe I just imagine all the kids being like we drank a beer and now we're hung over like borbo and greg are like they just keep slugging this non-alcoholic beer we keep putting up for them it's not alcohol yeah because he's like look I'd rather them drink in the tunnels if they're gonna drink but I just don't want them developing any bad habits so I'm buying non-alcoholic beer I'm leaving it out I'm leaving it out pretending that I pass out I gotta drink half of them so they think that they're stealing from me otherwise they don't want it they don't want it if it's not warm and half drank by somebody else there's tons of real beer in his fridge that we never touch yeah it's cold gross yeah it hurts my teeth it's too cold and bubbly it hurts my nose how to open the bottle right so we can only drink the open one they can't get in the bottle so they have to wait for it to be open that's so fucking funny these dumb kids yeah we have to wait for our moment to strike and then we get the beer and we drink it and then we feel so sick first we make best friends so they're just drinking non-alcoholic beer and smoking cigarettes yeah being like we're so fucked up right now doing the cheezos which is lighting flaming hot cheetos on fire and eating them right yeah god we're turning to such bad kids so fast you guys got it like out of all their habits that one the flaming cheetos one is the most alarming it's the most you burn down the whole fucking wall you guys gotta get out of these tunnels you guys gotta stop eating on fire cheetos it's burning your mouths a lot it's just scar tissue in there now I can't taste anything uh hello and welcome yeah gather around friends let me tell you a tale of free scoundrels grabby and small a hippie a dancer and a sweet talker who live in haspyrum all you've seen them around they sell sweets by the pound their wares are famously tasty so here I sing singing to you of crimes involving kids so gather around friends and listen for the tales about to start hello everybody and welcome to spout more Mall Brats I'm your game master Sean O'Hara joining me as always playing fenton beasley the slide abdulaziz welcome to my lair of vampiric goodness all right franklin stein the cutter ball hoppers you know I like playing clover ivy the whisperer jessica ty hello there that actually was pretty good that was the closest you've ever been when last we left our heroes the cool treat kids had devised step one to their plan in the creation of pinot noir that is to gather the heaviest of goat cream from the heavy petting zoo on the top of the mall only the dankest boobs will match the dangers of goats yeah we're gonna get up there cream so hard by those boobs oh on those heavy jobs I'm forced to move on I'm forced to uh and in doing so they realize their main problem in the gathering of the heavy cream is transporting it so they contacted seamus seamus and mysteriously missing meat man what a wild way to say that I had to say it m&m meat man yeah mysterious and missing yeah that's what m&m that's what m&m meets is stood for this whole time they just showed up in your tree it's a cry for help it's a storm someone in the m&m meats factory oh my god clover asked him for help and asked him where he was he said he had diarrhea clover immediately did not believe him because he said that he got it testing out jerky but his he's got an iron constitution from all of the hot meats that he's been eating and jerky doesn't go bad everybody knows that yeah they went to the they went to the hubberstone twins disguising themselves as three penusian queens disguising themselves as three penusian queens disguising themselves as three penusian queens children they passed by erwin a penusian kid who's apparently staying in the mall with his family right now adequately performing the accents necessary to get by him and speaking with the hubberstone twins in their arcade hideout they traded a tiny little bit of the darkest of dark chocolate the void chocolate if you will the anti-chocolate the anti-chocolate for a bit of information learning that seamus during the party his his whereabouts were unaccounted for completely but he was spotted in the company of perhaps a member of mall security they then met up with alan tim new leader of the wild noggs after their previous leader was forced to go to summer school pretty funny shout out to a real one uh setting up under the bleachers after a volleyball practice in the crystal pool they all used their guiles and their wiles to impress upon alan that they could be trusted in this deal that the deal would be beneficial to alan and the wild noggs and also that they would be protected by franklin stein and the deal was that they help us get that cream out of there and then we split at 70 30 70 30 yeah clover attempted to tap into her knowledge of palm reading to impress alan tim instead feeling the effects of something in the clove cigarettes that she's been smoking and she started hearing voices and in the last moments after the deal was struck crawled towards the dark chocolate and heard a voice from the other side of the room and she said I'm not sure if it's real or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake or fake all our big fat goats and come to our heavy petting zoo

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